And now it's storytime

Heya folks :)

So Adam and I went out the other night to take photo's of Henley Beach the other night at sunset, and it was just stunning, beautiful colours swirled around each other and thru the clouds... just gorgeous.

But while we were there I did a lot of thinking, there's nothing like the ocean to calm you and help you think things through properly :D

I'm not gonna let this shoulder thing get me down again... (it's story time)

Last time it nearly drove me into the ground and it was a horrible, horrible time to know me. (I think Adam was lucky there not knowing me as well as he does now lol) All I did was sulk, whinge, cry and generally act like the world owed me bigtime. I didn't want to be around friends (although there was one mate who wouldn't take no for an answer and in the end I really thanked him for that), my parents worried too much about what I'd do to myself if they weren't around etc etc.

..and it was a shit year anyways, so the last thing I really needed was another kick in the teeth.

That year I had a big big big big opportunity to go and work in the US at a small indie record label. To this day I'm still kicking myself that the shoulder flaired up and I never got to go. That was my second attempt... thankfully the fella I was gonna be working for was a wonderful, caring friend I'd met many years ago in a chatroom, and the plan was, we'd catch up, see how things worked out for us face to face and if it was all peachy I'd be working for him as his PA. Now I know PA'ing doesn't sound like the most interesting job in the world.. but how many chances does a kid with no formal training in anything get to head into the music industry?

The first time I had to let him know I wasn't coming was when the accident that did my shoulder happened... and he was devastated.. not only for me, but cos we weren't gonna get the chance to see if we could work together.. professionally obviously ;)

But he left the door open for me... as soon as I was 'better' and could get my arse into gear I was wanted over there still... and that's one of things that drove me to get 'better' the first time around.

What no one told me is that I had a really good chance of relapsing and it flairing up on me again within the year.. apparently it happens with a lot of shoulder cases.

Head down the track 6 months and there I am, getting ready for the biggest opportunity i'm prolly gonna see in my life, gettin packed up, trying to organise a birth certificate to get my passport etc etc and it goes again. It was like getting kicked in the head by a horse.. it was the worst thing that could've happened.

Then work were being arseholes about it... saying that because time had gone by it obviously wasn't work doing the damage. I had to go thru a 4 month fight with them just to prove that it was work related. Imagine living for 4 months with no income as you're trying to prepare a trip overseas. As you'd expect, bills and travelling to all these specialists etc cost money and slowly but surely in those 4 months my US savings dwindled to near nothing.

I then had to break to it my mate for a second time that I wouldn't be coming over again... and again he was devastated. I knew this time tho I didn't have a third chance coming my way and I was right, he really needed to get someone in permanently cos he was getting sick of the temps. And ya know.. that's fair enough, I totally understand where he's comin from on that so there never were and never will be hard feelings on that front.

We still talk on the odd occassion but cos business is going so well for him, plus he's now got married and has kids, plus me moving to Adelaide to be with Adam and not being online as often, we've drifted apart more than I would've liked.. but that's what happens i guess.

So yeh, add the disappointment of that to my shoulder caving in on me and I wasn't a very happy person. Actually I was a bitch for about a year LOL It sucked too, I hated myself more and more each day for it but just couldn't snap out of it.

So yeh, that's my story for this time lol

Point being is I am not gonna go nuts like I did last time, I've gotta learn that it's gonna relapse once in a while and I just have to take my tablets if it happens. *goes and has one*

I love the beach :)

Kel xx